Jurassic Park (Film): Critique 1/2

John Hammond invites three people to see, and endorse, his island attraction: Dr Alan Grant (palaeontologist), Dr Ellie Sattler (palaeobotanist) and Dr Ian Malcom (mathematician). Upon arrival, they discover this ‘Jurassic Park’ is full of dinosaurs.

Dennis, an employee of the Park, shuts down security to engage in corporate espionage. However, this lack of security lets the dinosaurs out of containment. Things go wrong and chaos ensues.
 

Of course, all dinosaur DNA has degraded so much that it’s broken down and disappeared. Without dinosaur DNA in real life, dinosaurs can’t be brought back from extinction.

Like any piece of fiction, there needs to be suspension of disbelief. In the Jurassic Park series, the suspension of disbelief is that dinosaur DNA can survive for millions of years. (DNA is so fragile that even early Homo sapien DNA, something in the tens of thousands of years old, doesn’t survive. Considering dinosaurs died sixty-six million years ago, dinosaur DNA in real life clearly isn’t feasible. But suspend disbelief that DNA can survive for that long and Jurassic Park’s premise isn’t a problem.)

The fact that the geneticists have to fill in missing DNA with frog DNA shows that the dinosaur DNA has degraded somewhat. This shows that what happens to dino DNA in real life has somewhat been happening to the dinosaur DNA in Jurassic Park. If the suspension of disbelief still has elements of truth, it’s easier to suspend that disbelief.

Back then, most people were under the impression that all dinosaurs were scaly. So if that’s how people expect dinosaurs to look, no wonder the Jurassic Park geneticists filled in the DNA to create scaly dinosaurs!
 
The first two Jurassic Park films were a staple of my childhood. As an adult I can appreciate them all the more. Here I shall look at the problems and the humour.
 

    
                                                                *****SPOILERS*****
 
 
T-rex Problems
 
Let’s imaging that a t-rex indeed cannot see something unless it moves. This doesn’t mean being motionless would keep everyone safe.

The t-rex must have had a good sense of smell because of the nasal openings on its skull. So it would have smelt the humans standing in front of it. Not moving wouldn’t keep them safe.

Also, we know it has good hearing because when Tim snapped the door shut, the t-rex snaps its head to look in the car’s direction. (The t-rex was already occupied, plus it was raining. Both factors reduce has easy it is to hear things: for the t-rex to hear the door snap during all this shows how good its hearing is.)

So even if a t-rex couldn’t see something if it didn’t move, it would have plenty of other senses (smell and sound) to detect the people in front of it. It already knows they’re all there. Being still couldn’t be the same as being safe.

 
The t-rex broke through its fence.

Grant and Lex go over the ledge through that broken fence. They are above the tree line and the t-rex is shorter than the trees. This means that the t-rex couldn’t have reached this fence, let alone break it. Thus the fence line Grant/Lex fell from had to be a different fence from the t-rex fence.

Perhaps the storm broke this fence? Unlikely. If the wind had knocked the fence down, the vertical poles would’ve been the casualty. That wasn’t the case here: rather, the horizontal lines had been snapped. So the culprit was the t-rex, not the wind.

However, the t-rex was constantly occupied with people and cars. It didn’t have the opportunity to break another fence. But even if it did have the opportunity, why would it break that second fence?
 
The goat leg is dropped on top of the car.

Now, the t-rex is shorter than its fence so it couldn’t have dropped the leg over the top. Also, the holes in the fence were too small for the t-rex’s head to fit through, so it’s not like the leg could have been dropped on the car this way.

Perhaps, like a crocodile, the t-rex thrashes its head from side to side. Theoretically, the leg could have been flung off its body. However, this would have travelled in a diagonal trajectory, and the goat leg clearly hit the car directly from above.
 
 
Nonsense Problems
 
Hammond apologises for the dramatic entrance, i.e. the helicopter.

But Grant comes up to the helicopter as soon as it lands, meaning he would have noticed Hammond exiting the helicopter. Yet Grant is surprised to see Hammond inside his caravan, showing that Grant hasn’t seen Hammond before.

Why would Hammond have a helicopter arrive when he wasn’t in it? Maybe helicopters are a quicker way to get to the jet than Hammond’s other transport was? But if this were the case, why not ride the helicopter to get to Grant? Perhaps on the ride there, he ordered a helicopter in because someone said it would be quicker? It’s a situation that needs resolving all because of a throw-away, unimportant statement from Hammond.
 
A few small things didn’t make sense.

A brachiosaur stands on its hind legs to reach the top of the tree. Yet when the brachiosaur lands back on all four feet, its head is high enough to reach the top of the tree. This means the brachiosaur expended more energy than necessary, something that animals don’t do. Also, the fact it’s the exact same height on both positions make no sense in a physical sense.

The piles of droppings were too tall for the height of a triceratops (the dinosaur is shorter than the dung pile). We know it is the triceratops’ dung because Sadler found the plant in it that matches the symptoms shown by the triceratops.

When Sattler finds Malcolm under the wreckage, Malcolm’s shirt is undone. But it was closed when chased by t-rex with his flare. Plus it doesn’t look ripped. This meant he had to have opened it. But one, he was under a broken building, so how could he have opened it? Two, even if he could open, why would he open it?

When he’s shocked by the electric fence, Tim goes flying. Yes, that’s partially to do with Tim being shocked to let go and then gravity pulling him. However, Tim travelling at that angle and speed does not fit the situation.
 
 
People Humour
 
Hammond isn’t a character that gives you a hearty laugh. He’s just in a lot of situations that amuse me.

Grant points an accusatory finger at Hammond and Hammond grabs it then shakes it like a hand.

Donald, who’s representing the directors, doesn’t see the wonder in the park, just the danger and profit. Hammond tells Donald he’ll be apologising in a few days. It’s funny because Donald dies that same day.

Grant says, “I’ve decided not to endorse your park.” Hammond replies, “So have I.” Hammond not endorsing his own parts always makes me chuckle.
 
Malcolm acts as comic relief in this film. It’s a mature, intellectual humour, something infinitely more satisfying than cheap laughs.

Grant, seeing live dinosaur, mumbles that he’s out of the job. Malcolm jokes, “Don’t you mean extinct?”

Malcolm lists a sequence of God, dinosaurs and man creating and destroying each other. Sattler adds, “Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits Earth.” Malcolm and Grant slowly turn their heads to look at her.

Malcom says, “I’m always on the look-out for a future ex-Mrs Malcolm.”
After the t-rex chases them, Malcom quips, “Do you think they’ll have that on the tour?”
 
 
Situational Humour
 
Sometimes, it feels like what someone did or said jinxed them.

When the characters go on the tour, they’re disappointed that they don’t see the t-rex. This is hilarious, considering the up close and personal experiences they’ll have with it later.

Grant sees a goat chained-up for the t-rex. Grant says, “T-rex doesn’t want to be fed. It wants to be fed.” Later, the t-rex chases the car. T-rex wants to hunt, indeed!

Someone asks if the third raptor was contained. Sattler says, “Unless they can open doors.” Then the very next shot is the raptors opening the kitchen doors to get to the kids.
 
Before the Dilophosaurus kills Dennis, it opens its neck frill and starts to make a rattling noise.

Due to the frill moving at the same speed as the rattling, it almost seems like it’s the frill causing the noise. Which would be ridiculous. There’s no reason why the dinosaur’s throat couldn’t make that noise (explaining the situation) but the impression that’s given is nonetheless hilarious.

(Yes, the dinosaur does make a noise at the back of its throat, almost like a gremlin. However, birds can make two noises at the same time thanks to the syrinx in their throat. So rattling and throat growl could happen, especially by a dinosaur in the same group as birds.)
 
There were a series of unfortunate… occurrences.

At the start, a guy is attacked by the raptor and then is dragged partially into the cage. He’s horizontal. But then he goes vertically up the cage and his upper half stays horizontal instead of flopping a bit vertical.

We see the palaeontologists carefully uncovering a fossil and then a helicopter flies in. Ruining days if not weeks of work, the helicopter blows dust onto the fossil.

Grant climbs into a car to escape Tim before escaping out the otherside because Tim keeps on following him. So Grant opens the door of the other car, gestures Tim to go in, then shuts Tim inside with Grant outside.

Grant dislikes kids yet he’s the one who gets stuck with them when everything goes to rot.