Critique: Riot Club

 

*****SPOILERS*****

 

This film centres on Miles and Alistair (who will be known as ‘Twat’ here on out), first-year Oxford University students who join the prestigious (and infamous) Riot Club. The film was released when I was at university but the characters had a remarkably different experience than I did. 

 

Miles gives up his lovely room to swap with Twat: that way, Twat is in the same room his family’s always had. Also, Twat’s dad said the other room wasn’t big enough to ‘swing a kitten in’. Good lord, what an expression. Could have used a cat but no, traumatise a baby. This pisses Twat off because he doesn’t like people getting things handed to them on a plate.

Miles, Twat and Lauren sit together for a meal and they discuss the recession. Lauren seems surprised when Twat thinks that, instead of supporting business, the government should let them sink or swim. Apart from, that is, the banks. You know, the institutions that already have billions of pounds. Twat then judges the champagne Lauren bought to celebrate. Look, if you don’t want people to have things given to them, don’t judge what they’re able to get for themselves.

Twat and Miles are made partners for an essay and Twat’s response is, “Do we have to like each other?” Miles is clearly annoyed, having given up his room for Twat.  Their views are at odds. Twat says citizens shouldn’t have to pay for other people’s bad mistakes because it creates dependency. Miles states that it’s bad luck, not mistakes, so citizens should demonstrate moral citizenship. This shows a clear contrast between the two whilst still sticking to normal views within the UK.

Twat shivered after the pub owner touched his shoulder. Gross. You complain at things being handed to you on a plate and yet here is this hard working man who runs a business so that he doesn’t have to be handed something on a plate. (This comes with added humour because the pub owner is literally handing things on plates to Twat.)

When they only get nine out of ten birds for their meal, Twat says, “It’s important we get what we want.” You entitled shit.

 

Posh Miles meets northern Lauren and they get along pretty well. Lauren’s impressed that Miles is an Honourable. (That’s literally the lowest rung on the hierarchy but never mind.)

Miles lets on that his whole family has gone to Oxford and she asks him if he’s posh. He says no, he’s “just like anyone else.” Being humble to get laid or do you genuinely think you’re no different?

One of the club’s members tells Lauren a joke whereby you make an Eton mess by telling him “he only got into Oxford.” Lauren, deadpan, replied, “My best friend’s there.” The boy mumbles an apology but you can’t recover after flirting goes that badly. I love that Lauren kept her cool rather than got angry: that fits her character so well. She has the fortitude to deal with those who have a sense of entitlement.

Miles sees Lauren through a window and he comes in, during which Lauren touches up her make-up but then insists she only has time to work (lol). Then they have sex (they don’t even shut the curtains to the ground-level room, extra visible to onlookers because the lights are on and it’s night out). Afterwards they compare word choices (apparently pudding, loo and napkin are posh?) but they both agree on one word: dick.

Someone asks Miles what he’s doing with a “boot strappy regional’. Well there’s an expression, if ever I heard one. Miles is bashful when he replies; he’s so sweet about it so it’s clear he cares about her.

 

The audience gets a range of typical public schoolboy humour. It makes you laugh because it’s so outrageous and it’s not what you expect to hear. For a serious film with serious issues, it was surprisingly comical.

The Greek guy’s wondering what to buy but someone pipes up, ‘No, Greece is going through austerity measures.’ Vicious!

Both Twat’s and Miles’ rooms get wrecked as part of the initiation. Someone says to Twat that, “I hope you weren’t attached to you, um, everything.” It was all fucked. Miles had only one thought: “I just wish I knew whose jizz it was.”

A sophisticated guide is touring people through the president’s home and she stops him from going into the private section. So he shows her his portrait on the wall. She loses all composure and tells the guests that Van Dyke is “very good”. Brilliant.

When they get to the pub (at which most of the film takes place), the Riot Club start singing the national anthem, during which a bunch of old people in the pub stand up and join in. Had me giggling.

When they toast dead members, one jokes that his friend’s got a dead member. The response? “Only ‘cause your mum’s been sitting on it 24/7.” Oh, my. 

The club’s president hires an escort to give everyone oral sex. One of the boys offers a cushion for her knees. How generous, you piece of shit.

The Riot Club was started in honour of Lord Ryot (a nickname) who was killed after shagging another’s wife (we see in this cutback scene that a friend said, “Legend” when they learnt this. That was hilarious because it was so out of place).

 

There are a few other things worth mentioning.

During the initiation, Twat drank wine full of disgusting detritus. Then he guessed which wine it is! (How much wine do you need to drink to be that familiar? You’re eighteen, for goodness sake.) I gagged at the maggots. Well, for the maggots. I wouldn’t want to be swallowed alive by Twat, either.

Hugo has his eyes on Miles from the start. It’s nothing more than a gentle interest (unlike the hunter-attitude of the other boys towards women). Later on, Miles gets arsy with Hugo (pun intended) and tells him, “I’m not your rector boy.” Ouch. Hugo wasn’t even hitting on you, Miles!

One of the posh boys is hilarious: if you want an accurate perception of upper-class England, he is it. He says goodbye to ‘Mummy’, an endearment the upper-class use far beyond adolescence. He carries un-plucked pheasants around his neck (don’t you have a gamekeeper to do that? And who will prepare those for you?). Then he’s ‘terribly sorry’ about one thing and there’s nothing ‘I can do, I’m afraid’ about another: so perfectly English.

 

Sometime into the dinner party, Lauren comes (Twat stirring trouble).

Twat suggests they pay her for blowjobs and Greek offers her three years tuition fees. Lauren asks Miles to say something and instead of defending her he says, “It’s up to you.” Sure, respecting female autonomy is great but she’s asked for your assistance to make it stop.

To make matters worse, Lauren gets kissed forcibly, Miles gets held back and the other cheer. They cheer for unsolicited intimacy?! Disgusting. Then to top it all off, the president says, “We’ve got the best sperm in the country you should be paying us to drink it.” He seemed actually outraged with her.

 

The club starts destroying the pub and beating the owner to a pulp.

Miles calls for an ambulance and the others decide to blame him for everything. This pisses Miles off because, “the police should decide who gets punished.” But the club can dodge responsibility.

            Back at the university, the police knock at Miles’ door so we think the club turned on him. Yet they were looking for Twat. So the pair swapping rooms at the start ended up as a brilliant device throughout the film, demonstrating both Twat’s behaviour and his downfall.

Miles decides to leave the club despite losing useful connections (good for him) and Lauren won’t take Miles back (good for her).

 

The film, to my surprise, ended not with Miles but with Twat.

An MP at the end (the uncle of the club’s president) mentions the spelling was changed from ‘Ryot’ to ‘Riot’. Twat thinks the change was a mistake and the MP says, “People like us don’t make mistakes.” What the ever loving f*ck. Then he offers Twat a job! So Twat’s been kicked out of university and is handed a career, despite his hatred of things being handed to people on a plate.

This opinion shaped his behaviour and from there the actions of the other characters. This was the force that drove the plot. Without it, Miles and Twat wouldn’t have antagonised each other. Lauren wouldn’t have gone to the pub. The club wouldn’t have wrecked the place and the person. The police would never have been involved. The privileges of their positions would never have been shown. So maybe he’s the secret main character?

 

Riot Club was a brilliant film. Most of it took place in the pub yet a lack in the change of scenery wasn’t boring. The speech, behaviours and views were realistic for the place, time and characters. Maybe bashing public schoolboys was a bit too prominent but it’s a good representation of the bad apples. The plot was clever and no bit of information was mentioned once before being thrown away (as is all too common in world building). It’s definitely among the most enjoyable films that I’ve watched.