Critique: The Silence (Netflix Film)

 

In all honesty, watching horror isn’t something I usually go for: there’s too much suspense and gore. But I had to babysit the dog and this took my fancy. Comfort chocolate at the ready, I actually enjoyed it. Even if it did start as a home video. Urgh.

 

*****SPOILERS*****

 

Some scientist/explorers open up a cave and vesps, pterodactyl-like creatures, fly out and start eating everything. The film follows Ally’s family as they flee to safety.  Even kind-hearted Hugh, Ally’s dad, becomes ruthless when necessary. The film makes an honest assessment of human nature and behaviour when dealing with self-preservation under pressure. The horror of the film was less end-of-the-world-by-monsters and more how awfully selfish humans can be.

 

 

With Ally being deaf and vesps being attracted to noise, this provides an instant comparison and contrast. Being unable to hear means you experience life in silence but it also makes you less able to monitor and reduce your own noise, meaning you’re more likely to break the silence. This dichotomy played tug-of-war throughout.

            Pretty early on, a baby cries on a train and the passengers rip it from its mother’s arms to put it outside. Naturally the mother overcomes her fear and goes out to protect it. And then the vesps eat them. The passengers don’t even have the courtesy to look guilty! Forget the gore and suspense: this was the most unbearable part of the film.

            Otis, Ally’s dog, barks (you know, being a dog) which attracts the vesps. Hugh lets Otis out and the lovely dog gets eaten. That was heart breaking: I’ll admit that a dog dying in a film is too much for me. Not only do you mourn for Otis hiimself but you’re upset because you know how hard saying goodbye to your own dog can be. Ally understands why so she forgives her dad for what he did. I don’t know if I’d be strong enough to do that, especially if I watched and heard my dog get eaten alive.

            They turn on the wood chipper. The noise attracts the vesps and they get turned into mincemeat. Solution found! The world is saved! Well, not quite but if more people thought of this, life would be a tad bit easier.

 

 

I have many questions. I know you’re supposed to be left with unanswered questions but leaving information out feels like lazy-world building to me. Of course you can’t judge one genre by the rules of another (another reason why I avoid this genre).

            My biggest question is why were there no other creatures in that cave? To have only one species in a habitat is like nothing Earth has experienced. Even if the ancestors of the vesps were the only creatures to get trapped in the cave, the millions of years the vesps have been isolated in their cave for provides plenty of chance to diversify. For evolution and speciation not to happen is beyond bizarre.

            If these carnivores were the only ones in that cave then they must have been cannibals. This is really common in nature. But why would they suddenly switch their diet on coming out of the cave? They were plentiful in number and were breeding quickly and an animal will switch their diet so suddenly only when their original food source becomes scarce.

            Maybe there were other things in the cave that didn’t leave. Maybe the vesps fled from something more dangerous? I dunno.

           

 

The film has various miscellaneous bits and pieces that are worth mentioning.

Along the way, the family have to deal with this weird cult. They cut out their tongues and violently try to abduct Ally because she’s young and fertile. Oh, and they crucify atheists (and presumably other religions). The end of the world has literally just started. How can you cult already be so thorough? Human ingenuity, maybe.

            Hugh has a very close bond with Glenn who helps them out. It’s neither in a macho LADS LADS way and nor is it overly touchy-feely: it’s true warmth with true companionship. The way they became friends was really sweet: Glenn head-butted Hugh’s bully. Aw.

            At the end of the film, it says both humans and vesps are adapting to one another but which will adapt first. Obviously it means which species will be victorious but it could have been expressed far better, i.e. in a way that says what it means, not something else altogether. If we go by what it says, if both have already adapted so the first one to adapt can’t be in the future because it’s already happened.

 

So yes, I have questions, and yes, there was room for improvement. Nothing is free from error (however much we may try). But if I didn’t sit and watch things through a critical eye, I doubt I would have picked up on the negatives. The thought process behind each action and its consequences (both in human behaviour and vesp reaction) was thorough. There were no inconsistencies anywhere which impressed me: inconsistencies are my biggest bugbear. Like I’ve said before, horror isn’t my usual genre so I can’t assess whether this was a good horror film. But what I can say is that this is a good film, full stop.

 

Critique: Riot Club

 

*****SPOILERS*****

 

This film centres on Miles and Alistair (who will be known as ‘Twat’ here on out), first-year Oxford University students who join the prestigious (and infamous) Riot Club. The film was released when I was at university but the characters had a remarkably different experience than I did. 

 

Miles gives up his lovely room to swap with Twat: that way, Twat is in the same room his family’s always had. Also, Twat’s dad said the other room wasn’t big enough to ‘swing a kitten in’. Good lord, what an expression. Could have used a cat but no, traumatise a baby. This pisses Twat off because he doesn’t like people getting things handed to them on a plate.

Miles, Twat and Lauren sit together for a meal and they discuss the recession. Lauren seems surprised when Twat thinks that, instead of supporting business, the government should let them sink or swim. Apart from, that is, the banks. You know, the institutions that already have billions of pounds. Twat then judges the champagne Lauren bought to celebrate. Look, if you don’t want people to have things given to them, don’t judge what they’re able to get for themselves.

Twat and Miles are made partners for an essay and Twat’s response is, “Do we have to like each other?” Miles is clearly annoyed, having given up his room for Twat.  Their views are at odds. Twat says citizens shouldn’t have to pay for other people’s bad mistakes because it creates dependency. Miles states that it’s bad luck, not mistakes, so citizens should demonstrate moral citizenship. This shows a clear contrast between the two whilst still sticking to normal views within the UK.

Twat shivered after the pub owner touched his shoulder. Gross. You complain at things being handed to you on a plate and yet here is this hard working man who runs a business so that he doesn’t have to be handed something on a plate. (This comes with added humour because the pub owner is literally handing things on plates to Twat.)

When they only get nine out of ten birds for their meal, Twat says, “It’s important we get what we want.” You entitled shit.

 

Posh Miles meets northern Lauren and they get along pretty well. Lauren’s impressed that Miles is an Honourable. (That’s literally the lowest rung on the hierarchy but never mind.)

Miles lets on that his whole family has gone to Oxford and she asks him if he’s posh. He says no, he’s “just like anyone else.” Being humble to get laid or do you genuinely think you’re no different?

One of the club’s members tells Lauren a joke whereby you make an Eton mess by telling him “he only got into Oxford.” Lauren, deadpan, replied, “My best friend’s there.” The boy mumbles an apology but you can’t recover after flirting goes that badly. I love that Lauren kept her cool rather than got angry: that fits her character so well. She has the fortitude to deal with those who have a sense of entitlement.

Miles sees Lauren through a window and he comes in, during which Lauren touches up her make-up but then insists she only has time to work (lol). Then they have sex (they don’t even shut the curtains to the ground-level room, extra visible to onlookers because the lights are on and it’s night out). Afterwards they compare word choices (apparently pudding, loo and napkin are posh?) but they both agree on one word: dick.

Someone asks Miles what he’s doing with a “boot strappy regional’. Well there’s an expression, if ever I heard one. Miles is bashful when he replies; he’s so sweet about it so it’s clear he cares about her.

 

The audience gets a range of typical public schoolboy humour. It makes you laugh because it’s so outrageous and it’s not what you expect to hear. For a serious film with serious issues, it was surprisingly comical.

The Greek guy’s wondering what to buy but someone pipes up, ‘No, Greece is going through austerity measures.’ Vicious!

Both Twat’s and Miles’ rooms get wrecked as part of the initiation. Someone says to Twat that, “I hope you weren’t attached to you, um, everything.” It was all fucked. Miles had only one thought: “I just wish I knew whose jizz it was.”

A sophisticated guide is touring people through the president’s home and she stops him from going into the private section. So he shows her his portrait on the wall. She loses all composure and tells the guests that Van Dyke is “very good”. Brilliant.

When they get to the pub (at which most of the film takes place), the Riot Club start singing the national anthem, during which a bunch of old people in the pub stand up and join in. Had me giggling.

When they toast dead members, one jokes that his friend’s got a dead member. The response? “Only ‘cause your mum’s been sitting on it 24/7.” Oh, my. 

The club’s president hires an escort to give everyone oral sex. One of the boys offers a cushion for her knees. How generous, you piece of shit.

The Riot Club was started in honour of Lord Ryot (a nickname) who was killed after shagging another’s wife (we see in this cutback scene that a friend said, “Legend” when they learnt this. That was hilarious because it was so out of place).

 

There are a few other things worth mentioning.

During the initiation, Twat drank wine full of disgusting detritus. Then he guessed which wine it is! (How much wine do you need to drink to be that familiar? You’re eighteen, for goodness sake.) I gagged at the maggots. Well, for the maggots. I wouldn’t want to be swallowed alive by Twat, either.

Hugo has his eyes on Miles from the start. It’s nothing more than a gentle interest (unlike the hunter-attitude of the other boys towards women). Later on, Miles gets arsy with Hugo (pun intended) and tells him, “I’m not your rector boy.” Ouch. Hugo wasn’t even hitting on you, Miles!

One of the posh boys is hilarious: if you want an accurate perception of upper-class England, he is it. He says goodbye to ‘Mummy’, an endearment the upper-class use far beyond adolescence. He carries un-plucked pheasants around his neck (don’t you have a gamekeeper to do that? And who will prepare those for you?). Then he’s ‘terribly sorry’ about one thing and there’s nothing ‘I can do, I’m afraid’ about another: so perfectly English.

 

Sometime into the dinner party, Lauren comes (Twat stirring trouble).

Twat suggests they pay her for blowjobs and Greek offers her three years tuition fees. Lauren asks Miles to say something and instead of defending her he says, “It’s up to you.” Sure, respecting female autonomy is great but she’s asked for your assistance to make it stop.

To make matters worse, Lauren gets kissed forcibly, Miles gets held back and the other cheer. They cheer for unsolicited intimacy?! Disgusting. Then to top it all off, the president says, “We’ve got the best sperm in the country you should be paying us to drink it.” He seemed actually outraged with her.

 

The club starts destroying the pub and beating the owner to a pulp.

Miles calls for an ambulance and the others decide to blame him for everything. This pisses Miles off because, “the police should decide who gets punished.” But the club can dodge responsibility.

            Back at the university, the police knock at Miles’ door so we think the club turned on him. Yet they were looking for Twat. So the pair swapping rooms at the start ended up as a brilliant device throughout the film, demonstrating both Twat’s behaviour and his downfall.

Miles decides to leave the club despite losing useful connections (good for him) and Lauren won’t take Miles back (good for her).

 

The film, to my surprise, ended not with Miles but with Twat.

An MP at the end (the uncle of the club’s president) mentions the spelling was changed from ‘Ryot’ to ‘Riot’. Twat thinks the change was a mistake and the MP says, “People like us don’t make mistakes.” What the ever loving f*ck. Then he offers Twat a job! So Twat’s been kicked out of university and is handed a career, despite his hatred of things being handed to people on a plate.

This opinion shaped his behaviour and from there the actions of the other characters. This was the force that drove the plot. Without it, Miles and Twat wouldn’t have antagonised each other. Lauren wouldn’t have gone to the pub. The club wouldn’t have wrecked the place and the person. The police would never have been involved. The privileges of their positions would never have been shown. So maybe he’s the secret main character?

 

Riot Club was a brilliant film. Most of it took place in the pub yet a lack in the change of scenery wasn’t boring. The speech, behaviours and views were realistic for the place, time and characters. Maybe bashing public schoolboys was a bit too prominent but it’s a good representation of the bad apples. The plot was clever and no bit of information was mentioned once before being thrown away (as is all too common in world building). It’s definitely among the most enjoyable films that I’ve watched.

Critique: The Protector, Series Three (Netflix)

 

*****SPOILERS*****

 

The finale of the second series was a good way to end the programme forever. Nonetheless I’m glad to see more of Hakan and Zeynep saving Istanbul from the Immortals.

Just like the first episode of series one, the first episode of series three was slow and boring, the story dragging its feet. You’d think a virus destroying the city would be used interestingly but never mind. Thankfully I knew the show could deliver and the first six minutes of episode two were thoroughly gripping.

Hakan’s brother Levent makes a return. You know it’s not going to end well because Lakan gives Hakan a car to remember him by and Hakan rejects it. Hakan is forced to kill Levent because he’s under the control of the Vizier. Yes, this was heart-breaking, but on a practical note he can’t betray anyone anymore if he’s dead.

 

So many questions were answered! There are more questions off the back of this (naturally) but the gritty curiosities are satisfied.

We meet Vizier, the seventh Immortal. (I hadn’t miscounted/gone mad in series two after all.) She’s the one that shot Levent on the bridge in the finale of series two. It’s a relief to know Hakan didn’t do that.

Someone shanks Faysal and, when shocked Faysal isn’t hurt, asks if Faysal’s a demon and Faysal answers, “I am no demon.” So from that we can gather that the Immortals aren’t from Hell. Obviously this leaves the question of where are they from because we know they have to complete their mission to get home.

The Vizier fixes the Key to open the portal home. Also put her blood in the virus cure that went into the water, meaning she controls many Istanbulites to cause the city’s destruction. She mocks Faysal for completing in a few days by herself what the other Immortals failed to do for centuries together. I’d always been under the impression that their mission was a specific task within the destruction of the city but I doubt that’s the case. Finding out the reason behind the mission would clarify things.

 

We meet Burak. He’s hands-down my favourite character.

He acts all tough but he’s not afraid to be cute or sweet, particularly whilst he’s being funny. Which is often. Many shows need comic-relief to bring humour, but as The Protector was already comical it made me more appreciative of the funny character as a character and not as a plot point.

Zeynep was at first really mean to Burak, reminiscent of her initial treatment of Hakan. (Perfectly foreshadowing the pair shagging.) When Burak lies in hospital dying, Zeynep realises she loves him (yuck) and draws on his arm the key tattoo of the Loyal Ones, the one he’s been pestering for.

 

We find out that the Loyal Ones are descended from the first Protector’s four most trusted friends.

From the previous series, we also know the Protectors and Loyal Ones only marry from within the Loyal Ones. Even when the odd exception is accounted for, that’s still a very small genetic pool to last over five hundred years. You’d expect them to look alike. The amount of Loyal Ones we see, it would be impractical to limit auditions to physical resemblance, but make-up can do wonders.

Hakan lists all the kinds of people he wants on his team. Zeynep just happens to know Loyal Ones who match. Even though in the past she said the Loyal Ones don’t know anyone beyond a handful. Yes she’s the Master now but even the previous Master didn’t really know that many Loyal Ones. With all the records and documents they keep, surely they’d think to keep four family trees?

 

Out of all the series, this one had the most inconsistencies. This was such a shame: considering the plot and the world-building were so interesting, the inconsistencies threatened the show’s integrity. I’ve come up with possible explanations but I admit that’s more me wanting them to exist than them actually existing.

            Ruya employs bodyguards and tells them, ‘”You do not leave my side, do you understand? Good. Now go.”’ At first you think it’s not a translation issue because the guard does leave the room. But perhaps in the original Ruya says something more like ‘Never let me out of your sight’? I don’t speak Turkish so I have to way to check this.

            Zeynep goes somewhere and a guy tells her she shouldn’t be there because it’s ‘not a place for girls.’ Yet in the background is an actual girl. Though perhaps this is a character inconsistency (a believable one) rather than one of the writers.

            To see Zeynep up and moving in series three really through me off. I could have sworn she was killed, that we saw her dead, in series two’s finale. I’ve re-watched the scene and I still only see death.

            A Loyal One wonders why they bother with guns when the Immortals can’t be harmed. Sami jokes about bringing them flowers instead. It’s great that the show mocks itself but really, guns/ammunition are loud and expensive. Guns risk unwelcome questions from the police and are a drain on resources: that’s a lot of risk for something with no benefit. (Apart from the odd crony here and there.)

            Finally, there are the old, reliable and funny contradictions between the subs and voice-overs. Faysel says he’ll be a great dad but his subs claim he’d only be okay. When Burak says he’ll burn Zeynep, her voice would like to see him try (i.e. do it) yet her subs say ‘Take it easy’ (i.e. don’t do it).

           

So yes, this series has the most problems but I do believe the plot and world-building compensated for this. Also, and probably most importantly, it was the perfect lead up to series four, thus rounding up the Protector in a worthy ending.