Goodbye, Bath Spa

With my dissertation submitted, my undergraduate degree (and having Student Accommodation tightly wrapped around my little finger) is done.

Excuse my English but thank fuck for that.

On the subject of fucks, in doing essays on tantra, the Kama Sutra and devadasi, I have accumulated a somewhat questionable internet search history over these four years (hint: if you want to find out traditional Hindu views on gay people, don't type in 'ancient hindu lesbians' or 'kama sutra lesbians.' You’ll get very modern… acting.) The Kama Sutra isn't just about sex, btw: it has excellent tips on gardening.

University, campus, societies and friends were all the best. Being sassy af makes you a top-notch philosopher. Oh, and that non-negotiable policy where if you didn’t attend classes, you’d be kicked out of uni? I negotiated my way out of that. In five minutes. Even though I’ve only been to one class since January.

Life wasn't all that cooperative. Eighteen months of spinal compression (muscle fatigue/weakness, numbness, long periods of extensive paralysis and strong pain, from walking/typing/breathing). Twenty-one months of Storms (affective mood disorder becoming unbearable). These were broad issues in which any single component renders life, let alone work, all but impossible. Yet I did it.

I did it even though people thought I was stupid because I couldn’t speak until I was twelve. I did it even though doctors constantly insisted that I would never get better from my stroke, when I couldn’t even eat unaided. I did it even when some people thought I wouldn’t last two weeks by self, let alone three years. But it’s the mind that shows intelligence, not the voice; I proved them all wrong because I have exceeded the expectations of all doctors, none of which understand how I was capable of recovery; and I managed four years, bitches. What’s that phrase? Oh yes, ‘fuck the haters’.

So now the wait for my results and graduation. And no, I will not be throwing the cap up into the air. I can't catch, I couldn't wear the hat after it touched the ground, and I'm not renting a hat that I won't be able to wear, thank you very much.